Pure Awesomeness
by SimplyAwesome1
Summary: In a world where there is awesomeness a young girl walks the face of the earth because she's awesome. It is her destiny to rule the world! but before she can she will bring you a show just as awesome as she is...PURE AWESOMENESS based off of WWE events
1. Episode 1: 1st day on the job

**Pure Awesomeness!**

**I do not own anybody but myself (duh) i use CM Punk as my dad so...yeah this is kind of based off of the period before the Royal Rumble. I wrote this some time around that period.**

Me; Hi everybody welcome to my talk show Pure Awesomeness *dirty little secret plays*

Crowd; *cheers*

Me; Ok so I just wanna say my feud with Jericho is over! We're friends!

Crowd: *cheers*

Me; But unfortunately I have a new feud with that stupid Interim Raw GM John Whats-His-Face

Crowd; *Boos*

Me; I know, he's been a jerk and lately he's been a huge jerk to my Dad, CM Punk. Johnny boy has been screwing him out of his matches.

Crowd; *Boos*

Me; Yeah and he admitted that he was gonna screw him at the Royal Rumble.

Crowd; *BOOS*

Me; Yeah, I think we should bring out the person that's being screwed my dad Phil Brooks, better known as the WWE Champion CM Punk!

*Cult of personality plays*

Crowd; *cheers*

*Punk walks out and music stops*

Me; So dad, how are ya?

Punk; not good, I've been screwed by that pathetic excuse of an Interim GM long enough. I've had it up to here *puts arm above head* and at the Rumble if he screws me he's gonna get the beating of a life time!

Me; I see, I'm getting hungry can we go eat?

Punk; and why oh why would he pick on little ol' me? I wouldn't harm a fly!

Me; Dad…

Punk; I'M BEST IN THE WORLD! I shouldn't be screwed like this!

Me; DAD!

Punk...what?

Me; You talk to much

Punk; Yeah right!

Me; Pipe bomb!

Punk; damn straight, you're one too! Ah I made an awesome off spring! *Looks into the camera* THIS IS MY BEST OFF SPRING IN THE WORLD! *points at me*

Me; Ok, sure anyway can we eat?...and I gotta pee…that's a bad situation

Punk; no it's not what im going through is a bad situation

Me; what ever that's all the time we have I'm awesome

Punk: *Jumps out of chair and smiles* IM BEST IN THE WORLD!

Me; *rolls eyes* in this world there are champions*Points at self* and there are the less fortunate*points at Punk*

Punk; Heeeey!

ME; I'm gonna go get something and have my dad pay for it stay awesome and be jealous!


	2. Episode 2: Punk Take OverPart 1

**Pure Awesomeness Episode 2**

**I kinda forgot what time period this is, but I remember that one episode of Raw where Zack got hurt and Eve got all mad at Cena saying "This is your fault". I do not own anybody in WWE (duh) I only own myself.**

Punk; Hi, welcome to Pure Awesomeness *dirty little secret plays*

Crowd; *cheers*

Punk; I know what you're thinking "hey where's Keyaira?" well she's not here today…she's uh sick

Crowd; *aw*

Punk; Yeah, yeah suck it up, let's cut to the chase bring John Cena out here.

*My time is now cones on*

*John Cena walks out*

Crowd: *cheers*

*John takes a seat and music goes off.*

Punk; So John Boy scout h-

John; You mean Cena?

Punk; I said that

John; No you sa-

Punk; So anyway how do you feel about yesterday when Eve said "This is all your fault?"

John; I can't truly say it's my fault, I mean Kane goes after who ever I hang out with and Zack was at the wrong place at the wrong time…so it's Kane's fau-

Punk; *yawns* man this is boring next question

John; But, I didn't finish

Punk; Shut up already every time you open your mouth it makes me sleepy!

John; Well that's not nice

Punk; It wasn't meant to be nice, anyway Boy scout w-

John; You did it again, the last name's Cena

Punk; I know I said that!

John; No you keep saying Bo-

Punk; What do you feel about Clown Shoes aka Mr. Nobody-Gives-A-Crap-About-Me?

John; You mean Luranitus?

Punk; Didn't I just say that?

John; No you sai-

Punk; I said Clown Shoes an-

John; Luranitus!

Punk; OH MY JEBUS! IF YOU INTERUP OR TRY TO CORRECT ME ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I WOULD CUT YOUR MAN HOOD OFF!

John; …

Punk; Good, now answer the question

John; ….I hope Hunter fire him

Punk; I totally agr-

Me; Uuuh dad, what are you doing?

Punk; Ooooh…Keyaira…I thought you were sick *smiles nervously*

Me; No I'm not, you bust the tires on my limo!

Punk; Ooh…about that…*makes a break for it*

Me; Get 'em boys

*Jeff Hardy, Edge, Rey Mysterio, John Cena, Dolph Ziggler and Wade Barrett attacks Punk*

Me; *smiles in satisfaction* well that's all the time we have I'm gonna watch this fight because it seems awesome *turn towards fight*

Edge; RIP HIS LEGS OFF!

Rey, Jeff, Dolph, John, and Wade; YEAH! GOOD IDEA!

Me; *turn back towards audience* Ha, I'm cruel aren't I?


	3. Episode 3: Punk's and Dead men

**This is the night Undertaker came back. Anyway i don't own anything but myself and this story, 'cause "I'm Awesome"**

* * *

><p>Me; Hey guys welcome back to Pure Awesomeness *dirty little secret plays*<p>

Crowd; *cheers*

Me; Ok, so I have 2 guest today, one's just a regular my dad CM Punk and the other is the dead man Undertaker.

Crowd; *cheers*

Me; Ok so let's bring out our first guest, The Undertaker!

*Church bell rings and lights go off*

*light turns back on*

Crowd; *cheers*

Me; *turns around* Oh hi Taker.

Undertaker; ….

Me; Uh…sooo

Undertaker; *points at WM28 sign*

Me; what are you pointing at? *looks to where he's pointing* WTF when did that get there?

*light goes out*

Me; …

*Lights turns back on*

Me; Ok, scary…can we bring Punk out here please?

*Cult of Personality*

Punk; BEST IN THE WORLD!

Crowd; *Boos*

Me; seems like they're still mad at you

Punk; I don't give a damn, that doesn't stop me from being the best! *smiles in camera*

Me; Anywho, I forgot why I brung you out here

Punk; Because you missed seeing my face, duh!

Me; I see you every day what are you talking about?

Punk; Yeah, yeah save the excuse

Me; Oh yeah…Come on out guys

*Jeff, Edge, John Cena, Dolph, Rey, and Wade comes on stage*

Jeff; Hey Key, want us to kick this guys butt again?

Edge; Yeah! I wanna rip his arms and legs off!

Wade; You do realize that's….Dad right?

Edge; Yeah, I know!

Dolph; Uh…ok then

Me; Stop the chatting and attack already *pulls out popcorn and sit's in chair*

Punk; Um…want some chocolate? *holds out a chocolate bar*

Rey; No, that's chocolate of the enemy!

Punk; *throws chocolate away* 10 second head start?

John; Nope. Get 'em guys!

*all the guys attacks Punk*

Me; YEAH RIP HIS LEGS OFF GUYS!

Edge; YES! MOVE OUT OF THW WAY THIS IS MY BIG CHANCE! *Grabs Punks leg and start to yank it*

Me; *turns to look at the Crowd* Please don't try this at home, it can be very dangerous and you might just rip a leg out, make sure you're not und- HA who am I kidding this is EPIC! Ima stay and watch so leave…go home…we don't want ya any more. Just kidding, Love you guys until next time!


	4. Episode 4: Someone's gone Psycho!

**Sorry i haven't been updating...haven't been near a computer in nearly a week so, yeah. This Episode of Pure Awesomeness is based off of yesterday night's (4-9-12) Monday Night Raw...Cena was kinda acting off but that's just how i feel. I don't own anything but the story and myself.**

* * *

><p>Me; Hey guys, it's been a while!<p>

Crowd;* Cheers*

Me; Ha, nice to know you missed me too. Anyway we have 2 guest today! Welcome back to Pure Awesomeness! *Viva La Vida plays*

Crowd; Cheers

Me; Ah so you like the new theme so-

John; Hey what's up? *walks next to me*

Me; What the hell Cena! You're supposed to wait 'til I call you out!

John; Yeah, I didn't feel like it.

Me; What? Are you ok today? You seem kind of…different.

John; I'm fine, ha there's nothing wrong with me.

Me; … doesn't seem like it, tell me what's up with you.

John; 2 words…Brock Lesner!

Me; Really?

John; Yeah, he's trying to steal my show!

Me; it's not your show John

John; *eye twitches and laughs* Yes it is!

Me; *rolls eyes* what ever get off my stage, I don't wanna talk to you any more

John; Fine, but remember this *turns to the Camera* BROCK RAW IS MY SHOW! *leaves*

Me; *sighs* Bring out the other gue-

Punk; I'm right here!

Me; *turns around* WTF? How long have you been here?

Punk; Long enough to see Cena turn crazy.

Me; Yeah, seems like he's gone Psycho

Punk; And he's not the only one

Me; …meaning

Punk; Jericho, have you seen what he's been doing to me?

Me; Yes I have bu-

Punk; Jericho is a total asshole…as a matter of fact he's a serial psycho asshole!

Me; Is there even a such thing as that?

Punk; It's a very rear species but yes, they do exists

Me; Ok then..

Punk; Freaky and Scary but so, so true *shakes his head*

Me; *looks out in the Crowd* Uh… I'm gonna end the show now

Punk; What, why?

Me; 'Cause look over there! *points in a direction*

Punk; *turn his head and see's Kane* That's not scary

Me; Not that! I told him to come here, I forgot to tell him I like the way he walks the ramp and sway his hair.

Punk; Please don't tell me you think he's hot

Me; In that mask he is

Punk;*Makes gagging noises and rolls around on the floor*

Me; ok seriously, look! *points in a direction*

Punk; *Stops what he's doing and see's Serial Psycho Jericho staring at us* WHAT THE FUCK

Me; *chill sent down my spine* Yeah, he is scary!

Punk; He's not only serial and psycho but he's a stalker too…Stalking Serial Psycho Asshole!

Me; Uuh, that's all the time we have today we gotta leave like right now *looks at Kane* Hey big sexy mind if you beat the crap outta Jericho?

Kane;...Never

Me; AW! Anyway guys make sure you run away from Stalking Serial Asshole

Punk; You forgot psycho, you can't forget psycho!

Me; What ever! *hops on Kane's back* Punk, Keyaira, and Kane AWAY! *Runs backstage*


	5. Episode 5: Thank you Edge sorta

**This show isn't based off of this week's Raw, just a episode I've been thinking about since the Hall of Fame ceremony...Edge's induction made me burst into tears. **

* * *

><p>-<strong>Before the Show-<strong>

***I'm looking around backstage for Cody, but can't find him, Miz walks past heading towards the exist***

Me; Hey! Hey Mike!

Miz; *turns around* Oh hey, what's up

Me; You haven't see Code Monkey by any chance have you, we have to rehearse.

Miz; Oh yeah, he's back at the hotel he can't help getting embarrassed anymore

Me; Oh, Damn he told me he could come on the show last week and he said he'll be here.

Miz; Oh, when I see him I'll tell him you were worried ok?

Me; that's cool, maybe you can fill in for him

Miz; Sure, but I might have to leave early to check in on Cody

Me; It's ok; your spot is last so if you can't make it just get another guest

Miz; Will do, see you later tonight

Me; See you later tonight

* * *

><p>-<strong>Later that night -<strong>

Me; *runs on stage* What's up guys!

Crowd; *Cheers*

Me; Aah yesh, anyway we have to guest today and one (Late) surprise for one of our guest. I'm pretty sure it's going to be AAWWEESSOOMMEE! I learned that from Miz *winks* Welcome back to pure awesomeness.

*Viva La Vida plays*

Crowd; *cheers*

Me; Alright bring our 1st guest out, he is a 11 time world title holder, 53 time consecutive title holder, winner of the 1st ever MITB match and will be remembered for his outstanding last match for the WHWC at WrestleMania 27! My brother the 2012 hall of famer…the Rated R Superstar…EDGE!

*Metalingus plays*

*Edge walks out and does his entrance pose*

Crowd; *cheers like crazy*

*Metalingus Stops*

Me; *hugs Edge* wow that was the biggest cheer I got out of my crowd in a while,

Edge; *laughs* it felt good to do that again

Me; Bet it did, so how's life?

Edge; Same old same old, been hanging with Jay more than usual though

Me; that's not really a surprise…

Edge; I know, what about you?

Me; Ima secret…agent woman!

Edge; *raise a eyebrow* Who do you work for?

Me; *whispers darkly and deadly serious* I can tell you… *looks around* but I would have to kill you

Edge; Ooook

Me; *smiles* I have a surprise for you big bro!

Edge; Oh no, the last time you gave me a surprise you and Wade glued my hair back on my head

Me; we were only trying to help you! *rolls eyes* Geez at least we CARE about your hair!

Edge; Sure

Me; anyway bring out the cake guys

*crew member's bring out the cake*

Edge; *reads cake* Hall of famer class of 2012….hey look there's a card *opens card and reads it* We're so proud of you…hope we got the cake right. Love Wade, Keyaira, Ted, and Punk *looks up* aaw you didn't have to do this

Me; Yep, and if you look really close you can see the cool details

Edge; Really? *looks at the cake closely*

Me; WADE NOW! *grabs glue*

*Wade runs out with a golden blonde wig and tackles Edge making him fall face 1st into the cake*

Edge; NO! NOT AGAIN!

Me; Just hold still! *put glue on his head*

Wade; we're almost done! *puts the wig on Edge's head* done!

*Wade and I get off of Edge*

Wade; *looks at the audience* Whatcha think?

Crowd; ….*crickets cheep*

Me; *hands edge a mirror*

Edge; *looks at himself* Wow, I look better…but still AAAAAAH! *runs off stage*

Me; *laughs* Thanks for the help Wa- HOLY FUDGE BALLS!

Wade; Wha- BLOODY HELL!

*camera's turned and sees Stalking Serial Psycho Asshole*

Me; ….Uuuh

Wade; …I-is Punk even here today?

Me; N-no…I don't know why he's here!

Wade; Close the show

Me; but I got another guest and I ha-

Wade; I don't care; close the show and run, run like the wind! *runs off stage*

Me; that's all the ti- FUCK THIS *runs like hell off stage*

-**Cameras cut backstage-**

Me; HELP! HELP! HE'S AFTER ME! HE'S AFTER ME! *turns corner*

*cameras is in my direction til it zooms out and some one steps from behind the boxes*

Stalking Serial Psycho Asshole (Jericho); …*smiles evily.*


	6. Episode 6: We like it like that!

**So ForeverEchelon, you wanted more Punk huh? Well here you go. **

**I do not own any of the song's that are mentions they belong to Barney Rod and Nicky (no not Dolph Ziggler) and Hot Chelle Rae. I also don't own anybody but myself.**

* * *

><p>Me; Hi guy's welcome to a very special edition of Pure Awesomeness, today we're going to have a Sing-a-Song day, hope you have as much fun as I will welcome to Pure Awesomeness.<p>

*Viva La Vida plays*

Audience; *cheers*

Me; Ok before we bring out the musical guest let's bring out our very own Straight Edge Superstar.

*Cult of Personality plays and Punk walks out*

Punk; BEST IN THE WO-

Me; *bitch slaps Punk* grrr…

Punk; What the hell was that for?

Me; *bitch slaps Punk again*

Punk; OW!

Me; That's for that little performance you did on Monday Night Raw, you had me scared outta my life! I was practically shitting bricks you idiot!

Punk; Well sorry for trying to have a little fun!

Me; *bitch slaps punk* You're a grown ass man you don't need "fun"

Punk; Yes I do!

Me; *bitch slaps Punk* Shut up, you're not allowed to talk for the rest of the night

Punk; But that's gonna be ha-

Me; *Slaps Punk* No talking

Punk; *opens mouth to say something*

Me; *Put's hand up*

Punk; *close mouth*

Me; *smiles* Good Daddy *pat Punk's head* SO! Let's bring out our 1st musical guest….Yoshi Tatsu!

Punk; But he cant sing!

Me; *bitch slaps Punk* Shut the fuck up! *claps as Yoshi comes on stage*

Audience; *claps*

Yoshi; I love you, you love me, we are happy family with a great bi-

Me; Good Job, now get off the stage NEXT!

*Yoshi leaves and Undertaker comes on stage*

Undertakers; ….I see dead people…..

Me; ….uh good, next *looks at paper*

*Undertaker leaves*

Punk; *looks over my shoulder* Next guests are Christian and Edge!

Me; *bitch slaps Punk* talk again and ima cut your tongue off]

Punk; *gasps, cover his mouth with his hands and shake his head no*

*Edge and Christian comes on stage*

Audience; *cheers*

Edge; If you *points at Christian* were gay, that'd be ok. I mean 'cause hey, I'd like you anyway

Christian; *Punches Edge in the arm* Dude, we were not planning to sing that song! And I'm not gay!

Edge; *laughs* If you WERE gay

Christian; *Punches Edge* DUDE!

Edge; *Laughs harder* Ok, ok I was just fucking with you

Christian; Ew

Edge; Bro, you know you want some of this

Punk and I; Exchange glances* ….No comment

Christian; Any way to the song!

*Beat to I Like It Like That plays*

Edge; Let's get it on yeah, ya'll can come along everybody drinks on me, bought out the bar

Punk; *rolls eyes*

Edge; Just feeling like a star, now I'm thanking the academy

Christian; Missed my Ride home, lost my Iphone I wouldn't have it any other way, if you're with me let me hear you say!

Edge & Christian; I like it like that! HEY! Windows down chillin' with the radio on, I like it like that! DAMN! Suns so hot make the girls take it all off, I like it like that! YEAH! I could never get enough oh everybody sing it right back I like it like that!

*Cena comes on stage*

Cena; Oh, homie brought the booze, I like it like that 'cause girls playin' beer pong in the back

Punk; *sighs and rolls his eyes*

Cena; We're having fun partyin' til the break of dawn, go grab a cup I dunno what people waiting on and I'm gonna want a girl that I know I can take home

Me; No you don't mister!

Cena; In the zone, where I think I had lost my phone you can tell by looking in the party's straight

Punk; *whisper* Please say Edge, Please say Edge!

Cena; Crackin'

Punk; *Drop down to his knees* NOOOOOOO!

Me; *bitch slap Punk* Quiet you!

Cena; don't worry about it girl's cause I like It like that

Audience; *cheers*

Edge, Christian, and John; Oh, oh, oh, oh, like that! Oh, oh, oh, oh, Like that! Oh, oh, oh, oh Everybody Sing it right back I Like it like that! *song ends*

Audience; *Screams and Yell, standing ovation*

Me; Ladies and Gentlemen Christian Edge and Cena

Audience; *Cheers louder*

*Edge, Christian, and Cena bows*

Me; Well that's all the time we have today, thanks boys for that outstandingly amazing performance

Edge, Christian, Cena; No Problem

Me; Christian watch your back! Thank you everybody, good night! *run's off stage with Edge, Cena, and Punk in tow*

Christian; what is she talking about? It's totally impossible to watch my back… *shrugs* whatever I'm hungry *Runs after Edge* ADDY! I WANT A HAPPY MEAL *stops and think* OH AND 6 COOKIES!

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><p><strong>So? ForeverEchelon Whatcha think? Sorry for all the abuse on Punk,I<strong>** know he already have enough of that, but he deserved it for making me so fucking scared on Monday, i know he's Straight Edge, but that slipped my mind and i was thinking of the worst, i love Punk being WWE Champ and i hope WWE keep it that way. **


	7. Episode 7: Punk Take Over Part 2

**-Before The Show-**

***Inside my office talking to Cena on the phone, when Punk walks in***

Me; *sighs* No, John I haven't talked to him yet…ha yeah I bet he will...I know… *turn towards the door* Oh, hey he's here I'll call you back…ok….yeah…see you soon. *hangs up* There you are, I've been trying to get a hold of you for day's now.

Punk; I know, I just ignored you

Me; What? *sighs* Dude, I really needed to talk to you!

Punk; I'm here now, tell me

Me; I need you to talk host the show today, I promised John I would stay with him for a few days, *shrugs* ya know 'cause of his arm and all

Punk; AGREED!...wait this isn't a joke right?

Me; No, I'm serious so you're in if not I could ask Wade or Adam…I'm sure they won't mind

Punk; NO! I'm in,

Me; *smiles* Great, *pulls out a sheet of paper* Here's the list of guest that are on the show tonight and the order they would come out.

Punk; *looks at the sheet* *growls* really? WHY HIM?

Me; Well, he never been on the show so…why not? Anyway there would be extra security today, they would stand guard at all and any entrance and exist way so if you-know-who show's up or anything goes wrong they would be right there.

Punk; Sure *turns and walks towards door*

Me; Oh, and Punk...

Punk; *Turns around* What?

Me; Don't fuck Up!

* * *

><p>-<strong>Show Time-<strong>

*Cult of Personality Plays*

Punk; Hey people!

Audience; BOOOOO!

Punk; Ah to hell with you, you see Keyaira the best offspring in the world isn't here today she wen-

Audience Member 1; WHY?

Punk; If you woulda shut your mouth you would have heard me about to say she went to spend a couple of day's with her beloved Cena, and won't be back for days

Audience; AAAW

Punk; Luckily she left, the best person in the world in charge!

Audience Member 1; JERICHO?

Punk; THAT'S IT I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! *goes in the crowd and round house kick the guy* AND IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANOTHER DUMB THING TO SAY THIS *points at guy* WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU! *goes back on stage* let's get the 1st guest out here….ladies and germs Randy... Orton…

*Voices plays*

*Randy slowly walks out and hit's his signature sexy pose*

Punk; Randal

Randy; Phillip

Punk; Why did she have to pick you?

Randy; Obviously she loves me more than she loves you *smile's cockily*

Punk; *laughs hysterically* That's….that's funny…

Randy; *glares at Punk*

Punk; No really it is, but what I think you meant was she love's ME more than she loves YOU

Randy; No I meant what I said,

Punk; that's a lie, Ima a guest on her show more than you are

Randy; So

Punk; Damn, you're slow aren't ya? *Knocks on Randy's head* I woulda thought there was something up there since all of the stuff you do in the ring *shrugs* I mean you had to think through it right?

Randy; No, but I thought through all of the stuff I did to you at WrestleMania 27

Punk; Oh you mean the one when I was in nexus?

Randy; You didn't mention the lost

Punk; See in my mind I didn't loose, I won since I had New Nexus attacking you every once and a while ya know?

Randy; And that's exactly why I kick your skinny ass at 'Mania

Punk; *looks offended* I AM NOT SKINNY! I'M FASKINNY! TAKE THAT BACK!

Randy; What the hell is faskinny?

Punk; I'm half fat, half skinny…so I'm neither one…I don't know if there's a word for that so I made one up

Randy; Whatever

Punk; Now take it back

Randy; Take what back?

Punk; You called me skinny, take it back

Randy; Never

Punk; SECURITY!

*security runs on stage*

Punk; This man tried to RKO me take him away!

*security take's Randy away*

Randy; *RKO both security guards and runs away backstage*

Punk; Psycho…anyway bring out the next guest….

*Clown shoes come's out*

Luranitus; People POWER!

Punk; Ugh this day can't get any worst

Luranitus; Punk *sticks out his hand*

Punk; *looks at his hand like it's infected* Clown Shoes

Luranitus; Before we get things started I would just like to say, this show should have people power! Let the people see what they want, just like on Monday Night Raw Supershow and Friday Night Smackdown

Punk; *raise an eyes brow* really? If those shows had people power shouldn't the people have the power instead of you?

Luranitus; No

Audience Member 2; YEAH!

Punk; Thank you!

Luranitus; *give's the audience a dirty look*

Punk; Don't look at them Clown Shoes, you may infect them

Luranitus; How and with what?

Punk; With your encouragement to smoke 5 packs of cigarettes a day.

Luranitus; *give's Punk a dirty look*

Punk; Yeah that doesn't scare me anymore…in fact it NEVER did

Luranitus; Well Punk I think that you shoul-

Punk; Get off the stage SECURITY!

*security comes back on stage*

Punk; This man was trying to sell me and the audience cigarettes and alcohol, which I believe is strictly prohibited from this show!

*security takes Luranitus away*

Punk; *in his Luranitus voice* bye-bye Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and both Raw and Smackdown General Manager *Normal voice* and good bye to you guys, I have a way cooler place to be right now, but hey you'll see me next week!

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><p><strong>Sorry for the late update, I had a creative block for a while, but my creative drawing block is still there, it haven't drawn anything nice in like a month or something, and every time I do draw something it looks like crap and chicken scratch. Anyway...beside's the whole story of my creative life, i've been feeling a so furious lately ONE) Because i've been waiting all day on Monday for Triple H's return and all...and i was so worked up when i was about to yell the shit out of Clown shoes but stupid Brock had to ruin everything and TWO) To make things worst Clown Shoes attack Cena, with that overly fat Japanese guy (i dont have anything against Japanese people, i'm friends with quiet few of them)...ugh.. <strong>


	8. Episode 8: Another Psycho!

**Sorry it took so long to upload, i wanted to wait 'til Over the Limit was over because (in my opinion) That everything leading up to it was kinda suckish, and the whole Show helping out Mr. No-Body-Gives-A-Crap-About-Me was sooo freaking predicable! But i'm still pissed Johnny should be fired...it'd only be fair 'cause he's abusing his power and he got involved with the talent...kinda the whole Triple H thing all over again...just different...anyway enough with rambling on with the show.**

* * *

><p>*Cult of Personality plays, Punk walks from behind the curtain*<p>

Punk; So it's been days weeks even…and a lot has transpired for instant…me once again proving I'm best in the world by retaining my title at Over the Limit this past Sunday…and this one's a kicker…Big Show the man who was fired by John Clown Shoes has helped him win last night

Audience member 1; BRING BACK KEYAIRA!

Punk; *Looks out in the crowd* You again, I thought I taught you a lesson last time!

Audience member 1; obviously you haven't 'cause I'm still here!

Punk; *Narrows eyes* *Flips him off* Anywho, let's get our 1st guest out here

*Just Close Your Eyes play and Christian walks out with the IC title*

Christian; *Looks out in the audience* Where my peeps at?

Audience; *Crickets chirp*

Punk; *Laughs* Looks like you don't have any peeps here bro, I'm sorry they must be all CM Punk fans

Audience member 1; I'm not!

Punk; *Points at him* Quiet you!

Audience member 1; What chu gonna do 'bout eh?

Punk; *Walks out into the audience and round house kick the guy…once again*

Christian; O_o Uuuh…hello, Punk I'm still here! You wanna interview me?

Punk; *Turns around* Oh yeah, so anyway…just talk…about anything

Christian; *Smiles* Well I think I got the match I deserved, and now I'm the new Champ *Holds up title* My peeps will finally get to see their captain back in action

Punk; Uh huh, that's sweet guess what?

Christian; What?

Punk; I'm STILL the WWE Champ…for like years now

Christian; Shut up…

Punk; Neh, you already know I can't…anyway please get out off my stage

Christian; *Hangs head low* aww *walks off with sorrow*

Punk; What a cry baby! Anyway bring out the next guess…you know what don't bring him out let's go backstage shall we?

*Punk walks off back stage, camera crew follows him backstage*

*AJ come's out of a corner*

AJ; Hi Punk!

Punk; *Jumps and grabs his chest where his heart is* Uh..Hi..AJ

AJ;*Smiles* So I watched your match last night with Daniel and i have to say you did a great job

Punk; Uh thanks i guess *tries to walk off*

AJ; *Stops Punk* So, i was thinking maybe we should hang out later

Punk; Sorry I um...have to take my daughter out...some place which is totally not around you

AJ: Oh *eye twitches*

Punk; Can I ask a question?

AJ; Sure,

Punk; Have you ever like...thought of checking into a mental hospital?

AJ; *Starts to cry*

Punk; Uuuh no! not this...uuuh...umm...hey you look thirsty, are you thirsty?

AJ; *Stops crying and smiles* sure I could use a water

Punk; Then I'll go get you one...and you stay put...don't move OK? I'll be riiiiiight back *Turns around and walks slowly*

AJ; OK

*Punk Turns a corner and runs like hell towards my office door.*

Punk; That...was scary...so anyway back to what i was going to do *Turns to camera crew and whispers* we're going to go into the office of someone very dear to me…well she came out of me *Smiles in satisfaction* Man, I made a awesome baby girl…anyway let's go in I'm sure she's not in there anyway

Audience member 2; Then why are you speaking in a hushed voice?

Punk; SSSSSSHHHHHH! *pushes open door* …o_O

*Camera crew comes in and find Christian singing to his IC title and John and Keyaira making out in the corner*

Christian; Baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you shine gets me overwhelmed and when you fall on the ground it aint hard to tell you don't know-oh-oh you don't know you're beautiful!

Punk; ….*Clears voice*

*Everything in the room stops*

Me; Oh…Dad…hi…*Smiles nervously*

Punk; John you're such a child molester! Christian you're a creep and Keyaira…you can do better

John; ….sorry

Punk; don't apologize this is hilarious…I think this is a good way to end the show too, sooo guys that's all the time we have today, and what did you guys learn? *Smiles in the Camera* You're all idiots…anyway I learned that Cena's a child molester Christians a creep and my daughter could do waaay better than a boy scout

*AJ Walks into the office*

AJ; Oh there you are, i thought i lost you 'cause if i did i would've had to find you...and lock you away...uh i mean...give you these cookies i made juuuust for you! *hands cookies to Punk*

Punk; Shit...uuuh thanks AJ you're so kind *takes cookies*

AJ; Eat them up ok? I'll see you tomorrow *walks out off the office*

Punk; mmm hmm gonna eat them all...*Looks out the door to make sure she's gone, closes the door and turns to Cena, Christian and I* HELP ME!

Christian; OOO cookies! *takes cookies from Punk and eats them all*

Punk; Well at least im not the one who's gonna die

Cena; Oh yeah you are

Punk; Shut up Child Molester!

Christian; Hey guys...i dont feel so go- *Passes out and white foam comes out of his mouth*

Me; Um...i think we should call an ambulance

Punk; Neh, just leave him, let's go get something to eat huh?

Cena; Oh yeah I'm really hungry

Punk; Not you Child Molester

*Punk, the camera crew, and I walks out of the office*

Christian; !

Cena; *looks down at Christian*Uuuh, WAIT FOR ME! *Runs after the rest of us*


	9. Episode 9: Why? Whatcha do?

Me; Guys I'm so sorry I haven't been here in a while…I feel like I abandoned you. I also feel guilty for reasons you shouldn't know…I hope you guys can forgive me!

Audience; All is forgiven

Me; Aaaw you're the best audience ever. Ok, now that I feel a little better I guess I should start the show huh? But 1st I wanna know…how did Punk do? Was he a good little Punk?

Audience Member 1; No, he abused me!

Me; Well you probably deserved it. Anyway I guess all went well. Now today I didn't really schedule any guest, so it's just who ever wants to come on stage today. Alright welcome back to Pure Awesomeness!

*Viva La Vida plays*

Audience; *Cheers*

Me; Hmm, I guess I should sit back and see who want to ste-

Punk; *Runs in* HIDE ME!

Me; From what?

*AJ Lee Music hits*

Punk; *Hides behind the chair* From that!

Me; …oh

*AJ Lee walks out*

Me; *Eye twitches*

AJ; Hey, Um…are you the daughter of CM Punk?

Me; Uh yeah…I am….why?

AJ; *Smiles* I just wanted to know

Me; Well ok? Uhm so….how's it been? Went to any Mental Institutions?

AJ; *Tilts head* What do you mean?

Me; Ooooh nothing.

AJ; *Walks closer to me* Look, if you ever and I mean EVER put a hand on Punk or even look at him funny, I will find you.

Me; Uuuh, he's my dad….that would be really gross. I love him and all but I don't LOVE him, ya know.

AJ; *Narrows eyes* I'm warning you. *Smiles* Ok bye! *walks off stage* PUNK! WHERE ARE YOU!

Punk; *comes from behind the chair* Pheew that was close…

Me; That was scary, SECURITY!

*Security comes on stage*

Me; Ok guys, I want you to follow that girl around to make sure she doesn't do anything….no better yet take her out of here and put here in the cave where Undertaker and Kane lives.

Security Number 1; I don't want to go near there

Me; *Steps close and grabs tie* Look asshole, this chick is crazy and I don't know what she's even capable of…maybe just maybe she would use her charms to seduce you…and im sure you don't want that with the chance of your wife finding out huh?

Security 1; You wouldn't

Me; I would! *Steps back* NOW LEAVE GO!

*security leaves*

Me; *Turns to Punk* So Punk…since your out, what do you wanna do?

Punk;….

Me; OH I KNOW! Let's bring out our favorite viper!

Punk; Really?

Me; Yup! So come on out Randy

*Voices plays*

*Randy walks out*

Me; RANDY! *Hugs Randy*

Randy; Well hello Keyaira….Punk

Punk; Douchebag

Me; *Hits Punk* No name calling!

Randy; *Smirks* Yea Phil, no name calling

Punk; Wipe that stupid smirk off or I'll do it for ya.

Me; *Ignore Punks comment* So Randy, heard you got suspended. Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do?

*Shawn Michaels comes out*

Shawn; Yeah, Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do?

Punk; Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do?

Audience; Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do?

Randy; *Covers ears* ALRIGHT ENOUGH!

Me, Punk, Shawn, and Audience; …..

Shawn; Why? Whatcha do? Why? Whatcha do?

Randy; *RKO Shawn* What I did is top secret ok? GEEZ I CAN'T HAVE ANY PRIVACY!

Punk; Well you shouldn't make it so public

Randy; *RKO Punk*

Me; …Uuuh ok, that's all the time we have for today, Randy's starting to be mean and nobody likes mean people *Looks at Randy* You're not my friend until you're nice again!

Shawn; *Sweet Chin Music Randy* On the behalf of DX and Hunter, Our DX merchandise is available on WWEShop dot com Where you can buy *Points to his shirt* This lovely original DX Shirt and this *Holds up newer DX shirt* This newer DX shirt.

Me; Uncle Shawn…I think a lot of people have that already?

Shawn; *Smiles* Well I guess they'll just have to buy more

* * *

><p><strong>OH MY CHEESE! i feel so bad for not uploading for this! I don't know why. It feels like I'm cheating on it with my other story! CURSE YOU IF HAPPY EVER AFTER EXIST!<strong>


	10. Season Final: Where's Punk?

**Before the show**

*Punk and I are backstage in my office. I'm going through my special guest for the night and next season while Punk is sitting on my lap watching*

Me; *Puts papers down* Anyone ever told you how fat you are?

Punk; Yeah, Hunter said I was skinny-fat and Randy called me fat once.

*Door opens and a crew member walks in*

Crew Member; You're on in 2

Me; Alright thanks Bob

*Bob leaves*

Punk; *Stands up* Go kick some ass princess *kisses top of my head*

Me; *stands up* Don't call me that *kisses Punk cheek* See you after the show dad *Walks out of office*

Camera Man; 5…4…3…*Holds up fingers* 2…1

Me; *Runs on stage* GUYS! WELCOME BACK TO PURE AWESOMENESS!

*We are young plays*

Me; Thant's a special intro because sadly this is the seasons final

Audience; Aaaw!

Me; I know, so I'm going to make this one special

-**Meanwhile**-

*Punk's still in my office, but this time on my laptop doing jebus knows what.*

*Door opens*

Punk; Boy Scout, I told you she's on air come back later

Mystery person; I'm not Cena

Punk; *Looks up from the laptop* What the hell do you want?

Mystery Person; *Closes the door and walks near Punk* You

Punk; Are you going to like…try and rape me? Cause I'm not gay…Me like the women *Scratches beard* I think

Mystery person; *Pulls out lead pipe and knocks Punk out* That'll getcha to shut up for once *Gets Punk and leaves*

~_**Back to the Show**_~

Triple H; Yeah, I am coming back at No Way Out, but why is top secret

Me; Aaaw! Hunter! Come oooooon! Pleeeeaaaasssseeee?

Triple H; *Smiles and puts his hand on top of my head* NO! *Laughs*

Me; *Heartbreaks and tear up*

Triple H; *Panics* Uh, look kid don't cry. I'll uh call Shawn, you want Shawn?

Me; *Shakes head* No, don't talk to me you big nosed meanie! *Laughs* Big Nose, Big no-

*Edge, Ted and Wade runs on stage*

Edge, Ted and Wade; Keyaira! Dad's missing!

Me; What are you talking about? He's in my office.

Ted; Yeah, we checked there

Wade; And he wasn't in there but your laptop is on

Me; Then he's backstage somewhere

Edge; We asked the crew members and guest that are back there if they've seen him, they said no

Ted; And we looked around ourselves

Wade; We've checked every closet, locker room, bathroom

Edge; Inside equipment cases, the nooks and crannys

Ted; Understage and outside

Wade, Edge, and Ted; And still no dad

Me; *Heart skips a beat* I'm sorry guys I have to leave early, Um Hunter take over

Triple H; Why meeee?

Me; DO IT OR IT'S GAME OVER!

Triple H; *Visibly shivers* Ok…

Me; Thanks see you guys next season! *Walks towards my brothers* let's go

*Edge, Ted, Wade, and I run backstage*

Me; So, have any of you guys seen him before this happened?

Edge; I was going to see him to keep him some company but when I went inside your office he wasn't there

Ted; That's when he came to us

Wade; He was freaking out. We told him to calm down and tell us what's the matter

Ted; When he told us we thought he was just kidding so we went back to check for ourselves

Wade; Turns out he was right, but I suggested we should check backstage before we tell you

Edge; So we split up and looked around separate hallways and asked the people we saw if they've seen him

Ted; When we came for a status report it was negative, so I suggested we looked outside and understage

Wade; We did and the status was still negative

Me; *Nods* Ok, let's go check my office for any signs first, then we could call a few people I have in mind

Edge; Right

*We run towards my office and go inside*

Me; Look around guys I'm going to check something *Get's on my laptop*

*Wade looks through the couches, Edge looks in the garbage and Ted looks around the floor*

Me; That bastard

Ted, Wade and Edge; *stops what they're doing and looks at me* What? *walks near me*

Me; Huh? Oh, nothing it's just that dad was on my twitter.

Edge; Really? That's what yo- *Trips on something* AH!

Wade; *Looks on the floor* Uh, guys look

*Edge, Ted and I look to where Wade is pointing*

Ted; *Picks up a lead pipe* A…pipe

Edge; OH NO! SOMEONE KILLED DAD!

Me; oooor someone just knocked him out

Ted; But by who?

Me; I have someone in mind *Takes out my phone and calls AJ*

AJ; Hello?

Me; Hi AJ, can I have a few words with you?

AJ; mmm, Sure

Me; Alright. So…let's talk about my dad

AJ; Oh Punk?

Me; Yeah…him…so….HAND HIM OVER YOU PSYCHO!

AJ; ….

Me; Say something!

AJ; *Laughs evilly* I don't have him

Me; DON'T LAUGH LI- wait what?

AJ; I don't have him. Actually I don't know what you're talking about

Me; Uh hold on *Covers the phone* *Whispers* She doesn't have know what we're talking about

Edge; *Whispers* I believe her

Wade; ….I guess

Ted;….sure

Me; *Puts phone to my hear* Ok, I believe you

AJ; K K, bye

Me; *Hangs up* Well that didn't go well

Edge; How about Kane and Bryan?

Me; Good idea, Wade call Bryan, Ted call Glenn, Adam you and I are going to ask a few people some questions

Ted; Why do I have to get Kane?

Me; It's for the sake of our dear ol' dad

Ted; *pouts* Ok

Me; Let's get outta here

*Edge and I leaves the office and finds the closest crew member we could find…which just happens to be Bob*

Edge; Hey Bob, mind if we ask a few questions?

Bob; No, go right a head

Me; Have you seen anybody go into my office when I left?

Bob; No, I was working on getting you're show props ready for next season

Edge; Seen anything…suspicious?

Bob; I did see Kane around here, but he didn't go into the office

Me; Ok, thanks Bob, take care

Bob; anytime *Walks away*

Edge; Alright next person

*Walks to the next closest crew member*

Me; Joe! Hey, do you have a minute?

Joseph; Yeah, what's up Key? Ads?

Edge; we want to know if you've seen anybody go in her office when she left for the show?

Joseph; Oh yeah, Cena went in there a couple of times…each time he came out with a pout

Me; Did he seem, suspicious?

Joseph; Not at all. I over heard him ask if you were here today and your dad said no.

Edge; Hm Ok. Thanks Joe, see you around

Joseph; See ya around *Walks away*

Me; Gosh, I feel like a CSI cop

Edge; Me too, but at least we got a good lead

Me; yeah…come on I have one last person in mind

-**Mean While with Wade**-

Bryan; Why on Earth would I kidnap your dad?

Wade; Well you do hate his guts

Bryan; Yeah, but have you forgot Jericho also hates him?

Wade; What are you getting at?

-**Ted's conversation**-

Ted; Now Glenn, I know you saw Mark kidnap someone before but that doesn't give you the right to kidnap my dad. I know you don't like him but why?

Kane; Kidnap? Punk? I haven't seen him since Raw yesterday

Ted; Wait…what?

Kane; What I'm saying is…I do not…have…your father

Ted; Do you know who does by any change?

-_**Back with Edge and I**_-

Cena; Yeah I've been in and out of there a couple of times but, if I did have him would I be standing here right now?

Edge; Good point

Me; Have you seen anybody else go into my office?

Cena; Well yeah, I was about to go back in there when I saw Jericho. I thought I was strange so I hid behind one of the equipment cases. I heard nothing but the door opened and Jericho walked out with Punk over his shoulder.

Edge; Thanks John

Cena; Any time

Me; *Pulls out phone and calls Ted*

Ted; Hello?

Me; Put it on speaker so Wade can hear it too

Ted; Ok *Put's the Phone on speaker* You're on speaker

Me; Adam and I have some information about the kidnapping

Wade; Me too

Ted; So do I

Me; Great, stay in the office we're on there way now. *Hangs up*

*Edge and I walks back to my office*

Edge; *Opens the door* Alright guys have a seat

Me; *Closes the door* So, I know who has dad

Edge, Ted, Wade, and I; Jericho

Ted; I don't get it, I thought he moved on from Punk

Me; So did I, but I guess he sill holds some sort of grudge

Wade; Where would he be?

Edge; I could call him

Ted; Do it! Do it now!

*Edge calls Jericho and put's it on speaker*

Jericho; I was wondering when you'll call

Edge; Shut up Jericho. Why'd ya do it?

Jericho; Simple. I just don't like him

Me; Tell us where you're at and you'll go unharmed

Jericho; *Laughs* You're just a girl

Ted; She may be a girl but she knows how to kick some serious ass when she's pissed

Wade; and I must add that she's pissed…

Jericho; You'll never find me

Me; *Rolls eyes* Let me guess, you're at the abandoned warehouse close by?

Jericho; *Hangs up*

Ted; Well…the warehouse it is then

*15 minutes later at the abandoned warehouse*

Wade; Split up maybe we would have a better chance of finding him.

Me; Alright. Ted, check down that hall, Wade check the hall to your left, Adam check the hall to your right and I'll go straight

Ted; Will do *Leaves*

Wade; Later *Leaves*

Edge; Bye *Leaves*

Me; *Walks straight ahead and comes across a two way hall* Hmmm…Maybe *Goes to the right* DAD! CAN YOU HEAR ME! DAD!

-**With Ted- **

*Comes across a dead end*

Ted; Darn *turns around and goes to his left* lalala *Comes across another dead end* What the hell? Is this some type of maze?

-**With Edge- **

*Trips on a box*

Edge; Woah *Falls on his face* Ouch!

*Box starts beeping*

Edge; *Scoots away from the box* What the?

*Box beeps faster*

Edge; OH NO! *Gets up and shields his face* NOOO!

*Box stops beeping*

Edge; *Sighs in relief and starts to walk way*

*The box explodes*

Edge; *Hears the explosion* AAAAH!

*Runs away from the explosion*

-**With Wade- **

*Wade comes across two doors on both doors the words **CHOOSE **and **WISELY **are printed on them*

Wade; Hmmm…*Goes for the left door* Neeeh *grabs the right door knob*

*Wade gets electrocuted*

-**With Ted- **

Ted; *Gets on his knees * DAAAAAAAAD!

-**With Me- **

Me; I've been walking and going in rooms and closets for the longest and still no sign of dad or Jericho

*Gives up, breaks down and cry*

Me; I'm never going to see Punk again!

*Door next to me opens and Punk walks out*

Punk; What the hell is this? Keyaira get your ass off of the floor and wipe your face now young lady

Me; Great! Now I'm hearing him give me demands and orders.

Punk; Keyaira! NOW!

Me; *Looks up and sees Punk* DADDY! *Jumps up and hugs Punk*

Punk; I was about to kick your ass.

Me; Sorry…*Wipes face* I thought I wasn't going to see you again, how'd you get away from Jericho?

Punk; I woke up in that room. Obviously it was his 1st time kidnapping someone because he didn't tie me up or anything. So I snuck up on him and kick him in the back of the head *Shrugs* Nothing I couldn't handle*

Me; *Smiles* Well let's go home.

Punk; Agreed

*We walk out of the warehouse*

Punk; Quick question

Me; Hm?

Punk; Where's your brothers?

Me; OH SHIT! *Runs back into the warehouse* WADE, TEDM ADAM! I FOUND DAD!

Punk; *Laughs and shakes his head* You gotta lover her.

* * *

><p><strong>So, this is the seasons final. Don't worry there will be another season, hopefully I can find ways to make it. Bigger. Badder. Better. Like they did with WWE '12. Oh, I know this is late but I can't believe Punk's on the Cover of WWE '13! I'm so proud of him he's really moving up in that business. <strong>


End file.
